COMADOT by Qorin Rahmaniyah

Aku sungguh telah kehilangan jati diri. Kataku dalam hati. Namun, sisi lain diriku mengatakan suatu hal. Bukan. Kau bukan kehilangan, hanya saja sama sekali belum menemukan. Apakah sungguh aku belum menemukan bagaimana jati diriku? Atau aku hanya tidak menyadarinya dan hanya terus membenci diriku? Apa aku sungguh bisa menerima nantinya? Aku butuh mengetahui bagaimana jati diriku yang sebenar-benarnya. Sekarang juga. Sungguh, aku sudah merasa hilang arah dan kepercayaan. Tangisan sudah menjadi hal rutin, bukan hanya saat tengah malam di kala diri sangat lelah, juga saat siang hari mencoba menyelesaikan tanggung jawab. Sungguh, inginku mengetahuinya saat ini juga. Tanpa ada campur tangan orang lain, orang asing yang bahkan masih membutuhkan penjelasanku bagaimana diriku yang sebenarnya. Comadot. 08.07.20 11.54 p.m.

What comes to your mind when you are missing someone? The one who can't be reached anymore. For me, it will be the moment with him/her/them. 2015. My beloved grandma passed away. After knowing that she really leave me, I realized something that really hurts me. I love her. I regret all things I have now. I wanna show her that I can graduate from college. I wanna give her my very first salary from part time job I do. I wanna buy her favourite pudding and ice cream. She loves those. I wanna tell her that I got my first full-time job. I wanna see her smile, her reaction. I wanna listen to her advices for me to face this cruel world. I wanna know that she is worried about me coming home at 10 p.m. I wanna hear that she wants something. I wanna hear that she want me to buy her something and I am able to purchase it. I want her and the moment with her.  Then, I know those things are just the past moment that buried deeply in my mind. I miss it.  I love you,...

Depression is becoming a familiar term to describe someone's condition that has negative effect on how he/she thinks, feels, or acts. Instead of explaining the definiton of each, I will share some alternatives that we can try to reduce the negative effects. It takes time, a lot of time depend on how much we suffer from it. Keep trying and being positive!! :) According to Ranna Parekh, M.D., M.P.H. there are several things happen that can be the symptom of depression from mild to severe. Here they are: 1. Feeling sad or having a depressed mood 2. Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed 3. Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting 4. Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much For this one, you might be suffering one of the symptom. Either you have some troubles in sleeping or you have lot of time to sleep.  I have a tendency missing my bed and just sleep over times. I do pray , watch drama, or eat but most of the time is just for sleeping....