Hellow, Rin,
Have you fallen in love with yourself recently?
You know, you know, it's not a must, a necessary instead.
There are some people, new people, coming in that could be your new fresh problems, tho.
However, I know you are being aware of those things, I know it.
I see you are smiling more to yourself in front of the mirror, that used to be your enemy every single time you do your skincare routine,
I smell those nice shampoo from your hair and your perfume everytime you are going out, even on your own.
You don't like wearing the watch your dad bought it for you just because you don't wanna feel too much sweat on your skin. You do wear it now.
Understanding yourself is a never ending saga you have in life, but you're preparing and learning how to do it. I wanna give you a big applause for that.
Like the song from D.O. and Wonstein, "I'm gonna love you".
I know you are preparing and fixing yourself from the inside.
That's a good good, keep going!
Hellow, Rin,
Notice me,
I am your witness recording your lots of nights going home from office,
those nights that make you getting used to riding your motorcycle,
roaming the crowded street,
throwing away undescribable feelings during the day or week to the street,
or to the people that drive unwisely, (I hate those people, too)
that's cute and fun, isn't it?
There's always a bad side of something happening, right?
That's in you now, you are getting quieter these days.
Heyyy, you just opened your heart the last months, tried to tell stories and feelings.
Are you regretting it now? You are confusing sometimes, but that's you, okay okay, I know you
are spending your nights wandering, comforting, and hugging yourself tightly,
feeling that the bare minimum you can do for yourself,
that's a good good, keep going!
Hellow, Rin,
Have slept enogh before 11 PM? Have you
finally could accept people's compliments that you never expect to get this whole life well?
reframed and reconstructed the narrow minds you have?
thought about that bus stop theory, all things as your fate will not pass you through?
practiced saying no when someone asking you to go out when you're feeling unwell?
said things you want to say as long it doesn't hurt somebody else?
brought that book everywhere that you never know when you will read it?
reminded yourself to not rush things and focused more on the progress than the perfection?
Is the answer a 'yes' for all these questions?
Time is ticking, so don't worry so much about love from others,
it's infinite and timeless
It's better to know one of the reasons you are feeling tired,
because your mind is running around,
being aware of it, breathing, closing your eyes, then smiling,
you are used to faking smiles, just use that expreience now,
fake it till you show the real smile.
This will be a birthday greeting, actually,
but I know you were in pain in your menstrual period in your birthday day.
So, here's the delayed post to you.
- Qorin Rahmaniyah, 15.10.23
The day that you will always miss your beloved grandma.
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